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A devil seized Philip, a devil of self torture which was always lurking within him, and, though with all his soul he wished that Griffiths and Mildred should not go away together, he could not help himself he set himself to persuade Griffiths through her. I don t see why not, if I m willing, he said. That s what I told him. I should have thought if he really portugal shirt wanted to go he wouldn t hesitate. Oh, it s not that, he wants to all right. He d go at once if he had the money. If he s squeamish about it I ll give YOU the money. I said you d lend it if he liked, and we d pay it back as soon as we could. It s rather a change for you going on your knees to get a man to take you chelsea fc shirt sale away for a week end. It is rather, isn t it she said, with a shameless little laugh. It sent a cold shudder down Philip s spine. What are you going to do then he asked. Nothing. He s going home tomorrow. He must. That would be Philip s salvation. With Griffiths arsenal all kits 2019/20 out of the way he could get Mildred back. She knew no one in London, she would be thrown on to his society, and when they were alone together he could soon make her forget this infatuation. If he said nothing more he was safe. But he had a fiendish desire to break down their scruples, he wanted to know how abominably they could behave towards him if he tempted them a little more they would yield, and he took a fierce joy at the thought of their dishonour. Though every word he spoke tortured him, he found in the torture a horrible delight. It looks as if it were now or never. That s what I told him, she said. There was a passionate note in her voice which struck Philip. He was biting his nails in his nervousness. Where were you thinking of going Oh, portugal shirt to Oxford. He was at the Varsity there, you know. He said he d show me the colleges. 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on the ground, shining through the trees, look at that sky why, I should never have seen that sky if I hadn t been to Paris. Hayward thought that Philip choked a sob, and he looked at him with astonishment. What s the matter with you Nothing. I m sorry to be so damned emotional, but for six months I ve been starved for beauty. You portugal shirt used to be so matter of fact. It s very interesting to hear you say that. Damn it all, I don t want to be interesting, laughed Philip. Let s go and have a stodgy tea. chapter 65 Hayward s visit did Philip a great deal celtic strip badge of good. Each day his thoughts dwelt less on Mildred. He looked back upon the past with disgust. He could not understand how he had submitted to the dishonour of such a love and when he thought of Mildred it was with angry hatred, because she had submitted him to so much humiliation. His imagination presented her to him now with her defects of person and manner exaggerated, so that he shuddered at the thought of having been connected with her. It just shows how damned weak I am, he said to himself. The adventure was like a blunder that one had committed at a party so horrible that one felt nothing could be done to excuse it the only remedy was to forget. His horror at the degradation he had suffered helped him. He was like a snake casting its skin and he looked upon the old covering with nausea. He exulted in the possession of himself once more he realised how much of the delight of the world he had lost when he was absorbed in that madness which they called love he had had enough of it he did not want to be in. love any more if love was that. Philip told Hayward something of what he had gone through. 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This, a profile of Ruth Chalice, was tucked away in a corner, and Lawson was no.hing would induce him to put up with such another and determined next morning to write to his uncle, or to Mr. Nixon, the solicitor, or to Lawson but when the time came he could not bring himself to make the humiliating confession of his utter failure. He did not know how Lawson would take it. In their friendship Lawson had been scatter brained and he had prided himself on his common sense. He would have to tell the whole history of his folly. He had an uneasy feeling that Lawson, after helping him, would turn the cold shoulder on him. His uncle and the solicitor would of course do something for him, but he dreaded their reproaches. He did not want anyone to reproach him he clenched his teeth and repeated that what had happened was inevitable just because it had happened. Regret was absurd. The days were unending, and the five shillings Lawson had lent him would not last much longer. 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He reduced his expenses by eating only one meal a day beside his breakfast and he ate it bread and butter and cocoa at four so that it should last him till next morning. He was so hungry by nine o clock that he had to go to bed. He thought of borrowing money from Lawson but the manchester united official shirt fear of a refusal held him back at last he asked him for five pounds. Lawson lent it with pleasure but as he did so said You ll let me premier league shirt numbers 2019/20 have it back in a week or so won t you I ve got to pay my framer and I m awfully broke just now. Philip knew he would not be able to return it and the thought of.roduction football shirtre low cost soccer shirts one thing you must keep in mind. 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