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His spirit seemed to free itself from the bonds of the flesh and he seemed to be living a new life. He aspired man utd kits fifa 18 to perfection with all the passion that was in him. He wanted to surrender himself entirely to the service of God, and he made up his mind definitely that he would be ordained. When the great day arrived, his soul deeply moved by all the preparation, by the books he had studied and above all by the overwhelming influence of the head, he could hardly contain himself for fear and joy. One thought had tormented him. He knew that he would have to walk alone through the chancel, and he dreaded showing his limp thus obviously, not only to the whole school, who were attending the service, but also to the strangers, people from the city or parents who had come to see their sons confirmed. But when the time came he felt suddenly that he could accept the humiliation joyfully and as he limped up the chancel, very small and insignificant beneath the lofty vaulting of the Cathedral, he offered consciously his deformity as a sacrifice to the God who loved him. chapter 18 But Philip could not live long in the rarefied air of the hilltops. What had happened to him when first he was seized by the religious emotion happened to him now. Because he felt so keenly the beauty of faith, because the desire for self sacrifice burned in his heart with such a gem like glow, his strength seemed inadequate to his ambition. He was tired out by the violence of his passion. His soul was filled on a sudden with a singular aridity. He began to forget the presence of God which had seemed so surrounding and his religious exercises, still very punctually performed, grew merely formal. 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That sort of practice, among poor people, was the only one possible for him there his deformity did not matter, and they would not sneer man utd kits fifa 18 at the simple manners man utd kits fifa 18 of his wife. It was curious to think of her as his wife, it gave him a queer, soft feeling and a wave of emotion spread over him as he thought of the child which was his. He had little doubt that Doctor South would be glad to have him, and he pictured to himself the life he would lead with Sally in the fishing village. They would have a little house within sight of the sea, and he would watch the mighty ships passing to the lands he would never know. Perhaps that was the wisest thing. Cronshaw had told him that the facts of life mattered nothing to him who by the power of fancy held in fee the twin realms of space and time. It was true. Forever wilt thou love and she be fair His wedding present to his wife would be all his high hopes. Self sacrifice Philip was uplifted by its beauty, and all through the evening he thought of it. He was so excited that he could not read. He seemed to be driven out of his rooms into the streets, and he walked up and down Birdcage Walk, his heart throbbing with joy. He could hardly bear his impatience. He wanted to see Sally s happiness when he made her his offer, and if it had not been so late he would have gone to her there and then. He pictured to himself the long evenings he would spend with Sally in the cosy sitting room, the blinds undrawn so that they could watch the sea he with his books, while she bent over her work, and the shaded lamp made her sweet face more fair. They would talk over the growing child, and when she turned her eyes to his there was in them the light of love. And the fishermen and their wives who were his patients would come to feel a great affection for them, and they in their turn would enter into the pleasures and pains of those simple lives. But his thoughts returned to the son who would be his and hers. Already he felt in himself a passionate devotion to it. He thought of passing his hands over his lit.red to pay, and within a week was able to tell him more about his neighbours than he had learned in a year. She s a very nice woman, said Mildred. Quite the lady. I told her we was married. D you think that man utd kits fifa 18 was necessary Well, I had to tell her something. It looks so funny me being here and not married to you I didn t know what she d think of me. I don t suppose she believed you for a moment. That she did, I lay. I told her we d been married two years I had to say that, you know, because of baby only your people wouldn t hear of it, because you was only a student she pronounced it stoodent and so we had to keep it a secret, but they d given way now and we were all going down to stay with them in the summer. You re a past mistress of the cock and bull story, said Philip. He was vaguely irritated that Mildred still had this passion for telling fibs. In the last two years she had learnt nothing. But he shrugged his shoulders. When all s said and done, he reflected, she hasn t had much chance. It was a beautiful evening, warm and cloudless, and the people of South London seemed to have poured out into the streets. There was that restlessness in the air which seizes the cockney sometimes when a turn in the weather calls him into the open. After Mildred had cleared away the supper she went and stood at the window. The street noises came up to them, noises of people calling to one another, of the passing traffic, of a barrel organ in the distance. I suppose you must work tonight, Philip she asked him, with a wistful expression. I ought, but I don t know that I must. Why, d you want me to do anything else I d like to go out for a bit. Couldn t we take a ride on the top of a tram If you like. I ll just go and put on my hat, she said joyfully. The night made it almost impossible to stay indoors. The baby was asleep and could be safely left Mildred said she had always football tops left it alone at night when she went out it never woke. She was in high spirits when she came back with her hat on. She had taken cheap football kits premier league the opportunity to put on a little rouge. Philip thought it was excitement which had brought a faint colour to man utd kits fifa 18 her pale cheeks he was touched by her child like delight, and reproached himself for the austerity with which he had treated her. She laughed when she got out into the air. The first tram they saw was going towards Westminster Bridge and they got on it. Philip smoked his pipe, and they looked at the crowded street. The shops were open, gaily lit, and.
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Weeks went to Berlin to attend the lectures of Paulssen, and Hayward began to think of going South. The local theatre opened its doors. Philip and Hayward went to it two or three times a week with the praiseworthy intention of improving their German, and Philip found it a more diverting manner of perfecting himself in the language than listening to sermons. They found themselves in the midst of a revival of the drama. Several of Ibsen s plays were on the repertory for the winter Sudermann s Die Ehre was chelsea fc sweater then a new play, and on its production in the quiet university town caused the greatest excitement it was extravagantly praised and bitterly attacked other dramatists followed with plays written under the modern influence, and Philip witnessed a series of works in which the vileness of mankind was displayed before him. He had never been to a play in his life till then poor touring companies sometimes came to the Assembly Rooms at Blackstable, but the Vicar, partly on account of his profession, partly because he thought it would be vulgar, never went to see them and the passion of the stage seized him. He felt a thrill the moment he got into the little, shabby, ill lit theatre. Soon he came to know the peculiarities of the small company, and by the casting could tell at once what were the characteristics of the persons in the drama but this made no difference to him. To him it was real life. It was a strange life, dark and tortured, in which men and women showed to remorseless eyes the evil that was in their hearts a fair face concealed a depraved mind the virtuous used virtue as a mask to hide their secret vice, the seeming strong fainted within with their weakness the honest were corrupt, the chaste were lewd. 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