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He was not crying for the pain they had caused him, nor for the humiliation he had suffered when they looked at his foot, but with rage at himself because, unable to stand the torture, he had put out his foot of his own accord. And then he felt the misery of his life. It seemed to his childish mind that this unhappiness must go on for ever. For no particular reason he remembered that cold morning when Emma had taken him out of bed and put him beside his mother. He had not thought of it once since it happened, but now he seemed to feel the warmth of his mother s body against his and her arms around him. Suddenly it seemed to him that his life was a dream, his mother s death, and the life at the vicarage, and these two wretched days at school, and he would awake in the morning and be back again at home. His tears dried as he thought of it. He was too unhappy, it must be nothing but a dream, and his mother was alive, and Emma would come up presently and go to bed. He fell asleep. But when he awoke next morning it was to the clanging of a bell, and the first thing his eyes saw was the green curtain of his cubicle. U chapter 12 As time went on Philip s deformity ceased to interest. It was accepted like one boy s red hair and another s unreasonable corpulence. But meanwhile he had grown horribly sensitive. He never ran if he could help it, because he knew it made his limp more conspicuous, and he adopted a pec. uliar walk. He stood still as much as he could, with his club foot behind the other, so that it should not attract notice, and he was constantly on the look out leicester city kit stockists for any reference to it. Because he leicester city kit stockists could not join in the games which other boys played, their life remained strange to him he only interested himself from the outside in their doings and it seemed to him that there was a barrier between them and him. Sometimes they seemed to think that it was his fault if he could not play football, and he was unable to make them understand. He was left a good deal to himself. He had been inclined to talkativeness, but gradually he became silent. He began to think of the difference between himself and others. The biggest boy in his dormitory, Singer, took a dislike to him, and Philip, small for his age, had to put up junior england football shirt 2019 with a good deal of hard treatment. About half way through the term a mania ran through the school for a game called Nibs. It was a game for two, played on a table or a form with steel.
ablishment as her brother in law. I have to be rather careful what I say, she leicester city kit stockists told him, as there s another lady here whose husband s in the Indian Civil. I wouldn t let that disturb me if I were you, said Philip. I m convinced that her husband and yours went out on the same boat. What boat she asked innocently. The Flying Dutchman. Mildred was safely delivered of a daughter, and when Philip was allowed to see her the child was lying by her side. Mildred was very weak, but relieved that everything was over. She showed him the baby, and herself loo. ked at it curiously. It s a funny looking little thing, isn t it I can t believe it s mine. It was red and wrinkled and odd. Philip smiled when he looked at it. He did not quite know what to say and it embarrassed him because the nurse who owned the house was standing by his side and he felt by the way she was looking at him that, disbelieving Mildred s complicated story, she thought he was the father. What are you going to call her asked Philip. I can t make up my mind if I shall call her Madeleine or Cecilia. The nurse left them alone for a few minutes, and Philip bent down and kissed Mildred on the mouth. I m so glad it s all over happily, darling. She put her thin arms round his neck. You have been a brick to me, Phil dear. Now I feel that you re mine at last. I ve waited so long for you, my dear. They heard the nurse at the door, and Philip hurriedly got up. The nurse entered. There was a slight smile on her lips. chapter 73 Three weeks later Philip saw Mildred and her baby off premier league kits for pes 2019 to Brighton. She had made a quick discount football kits promotional codes recovery and looked better than he had ever seen her. She was going to a boarding house where she had spent a couple of weekends with Emil Miller, and had written to say that her husband was obliged to go to Germany on business and she was coming down with her baby. She got pleasure out of the stories she invented, and she showed a certain fertility of invention in the working out of the details. Mildred proposed to find in Brighton some woman who would be willing to take charge of the baby. Philip was startled at the callousness with which she insisted on getting rid of it so soon, but she argued with common sense that the poor child had much better be put somewhere before it grew used to her. Philip had expected the maternal instinct to make itself felt when she had had the baby two or three weeks and had counted on this to help him persuade her to keep it but nothing of the sort occurr.ttering angrily. Philip s heart sank. When Friday international football jerseys morning came he went into the window with a sickening psg badge sense of shame. His cheeks were burning. It was horrible to display himself to the passers by, and though he told himself it was foolish to give way to such a feeling he turned his back to the street. There was not much chance that any of the students at the hospital would pass along Oxford Street at that hour, and he knew hardly anyone else in London but as Philip worked, with a huge lump in his throat, he fancied that on turning round he would catch the eye of some man he knew. He made all the haste he could. By the simple observation that all reds went thfc kit together, and by spacing the costumes more than was usual, Philip got a very good effect and when the buyer went into the street to look at the result he was obviously pleased. I knew I shouldn t go far wrong in putting you on the window. The fact. is, you and me are gentlemen, mind you I wouldn t say this in the department, but you and me are gentlemen, and that always tells. It s no good your telling me it doesn t tell, because I know it does tell. Philip was put on the job regularly, but he could not accustom himself to the publicity and he dreaded Friday morning, on which the window was dressed, with a terror that made him awake at five o clock and lie sleepless with sickness in his heart. The girls in the department noticed his shamefaced way, and they very soon discovered his trick of standing with his back to the street. They laughed at him and called him sidey. I suppose you re afraid your aunt ll come along and cut you out of her will. On the whole he got on well enough with the girls. They thought him a little queer but his leicester city kit stockists club foot seemed to excuse his not being like the rest, and they found in due course that he was good natured. He never minded helping anyone, and he was polite and even tempered. You can see he s a gentleman, they said. Very reserved, isn t he said one young woman, to whose passionate enthusiasm for the theatre he had listened unmoved. Most of them had fellers, and those who hadn t said they had rather than have leicester city kit stockists it supposed that no one had an inclination for them. One or two showed signs of being willing to start a flirtation with Philip, and he watched their manoeuvres with grave amusement. He had had enough of love making for some time and he leicester city kit stockists was nearly always tired and often hungry. chapter 106 Philip avoided the places he had known in happier times. The li.atter of routine, others artfully devised to lead the patient to discover things which he might be expected to desire to conceal. Have you ever lived abroad asked Philip. I was in Spain for eleven years. What were you doing there I was secretary of the English water company at Toledo. Philip remembered that Clutton had spent some months in Toledo, and the journalist s answer made him look at him with more interest but he felt it would be improper to show this it was necessary to preserve the distance between the hospital patient and the staff. When he had finished his examination he went on to other beds. Thorpe Athelny s illness was not grave, and, though remaining very yellow, he soon felt much better he stayed in bed only because the physician thought he should be kept under observation till certain reactions became normal. One day, on entering the ward, Philip noticed that Athelny, pencil in hand, was reading a book. He put it down when Philip came to his bed. May I see what you re reading asked Philip, who could never pass a book without looking at it. Philip took it up and saw that it was a volume of Spanish verse, the poems of San Juan de la Cruz, and as he opened it a sheet of paper fell out. Philip picked it up and noticed that verse was written upon it. You re not going to tell me you ve been occupying your leisure in writing poetry That s a most improper proceeding in a hospital patient. I was trying to do some translations. D you know Spanish No. Well, you know all about San Juan de la Cruz, don t you I don t indeed. He was one of juventus shirt leaked the Spanish mystics. He s one of the best poets they ve ever had. I thought it would be worth while translating him into English. May I look at your translation It s very rough, said Athelny, but he gave it to Philip with an alacrity which suggested that he was eager for him to read it. It was written in pencil, in a fine but very peculiar handwriting, which was hard to read it was just like black letter. Doesn t it take you an awful time to write like that It s wonderful. I don t know why handwriting shouldn t be beautiful. Philip read the first verse In an obscure night With anxious love inflamed O happy lot Forth unobserved I went, My house being now at rest Philip looked curiously at Thorpe Athelny. He did not know whether he felt a little shy with him or was attracted by him. He was conscious that his manner had been slightly patronising, and he flushed as it struck h.
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