Jersey Everton ter all and he punishes me because I honestly don t believe in Him I can t help it. chapter 29 Winter set in. Weeks went to Berlin to attend the lectures of Paulssen, and Hayward began to think of going South. The local theatre opened its doors. Philip and Hayward went to it two or three times a week with the praiseworthy intention of improving their German, and Philip found it a more diverting manner of perfecting himself in the language than listening to sermons. They found themselves in the midst of a revival of the drama. Several of Ibsen s plays were on the repertory for the winter Sudermann s Die Ehre was then a new play, and on its production in the quiet university town caused the greatest excitement it was extravagantly praised and bitterly attacked other dramatists followed with plays written under the modern influence, and Philip witnessed a series of works in which the vileness of mankind was displayed before him. He had never been to a play in his life till then poor touring companies sometimes came jersey everton to the Assembly Rooms at Blackstable, but the Vicar, partly on account of his profession, partly because he thought it would be vulgar, never went to see them and the passion of the stage seized him. He felt a thrill the moment he got into the cheap juventus football kits little, shabby, ill lit theatre. Soon he came to know the peculiarities of the small company, and by the casting could tell at once what were the characteristics of the persons in the drama but this made no difference to him. To him it was real life. It was a strange life, dark and tortured, in which men and women showed to remorseless eyes the evil that was in their hearts a fair face concealed a depraved mind the virtuous used virtue as a mask to hide their secret vice, the seeming strong fainted within with their weakness the honest were corrupt, the chaste were lewd. You seemed to dwell in a room where the night before an orgy had taken place the windows had no. t been opened in the morning the air was foul replica manchester united shirts with the dregs of beer, and stale smoke, and flaring gas. There was no laughter. At most you sniggered at the hypocrite or the fool the characters expressed themselves in cruel words that seemed wrung out of their hearts by shame and anguish. Philip was carried away by the sordid intensity of it. He seemed to see the world again in another fashion, and this world too he was anxious to know. After the play was over he went to a tavern and sat in the bright warmth with Hayward to eat a sandw.a subject which Philip, since coming to the hospital, had studied with anxious attention. He had read everything in the library which treated of talipes in its various forms. He made the boy take off his boot and stocking. He was fourteen, with a snub nose, blue eyes, and a freckled face. His father explained that they wanted something done if possible, it was such a hindrance to the kid in earning his living. Philip looked at him curiously. He was a jolly boy, not at all shy, but talkative and with a cheekiness which his father reproved. He was much interested in his foot. It s only for the looks of the thing, you know, he said to Philip. I don t find it no trouble. Be quiet, Ernie, said his father. There s too much gas about you. Philip examined the foot and passed his hand slowly over the shapelessness of it. He could not understand why the boy felt none of the humiliation which always oppressed himself. He wondered why he could not take his deformity with that philosophic indifference. Presently Mr. Jacobs came up to him. The boy was sitting on the edge of a couch, the surgeon and Philip stood on each side of him and in a semi circle, crowding round, were students. With accustomed brilliancy Jacobs gave a graphic little discourse upon the club foot he spoke of its varieties and of the forms which followed upon different anatomical conditions. I suppose you ve got talipes equinus he said, turning suddenly. to Philip. Yes. Philip felt the eyes of his fellow students rest jersey everton on him, and he cursed himself because he could not help blushing. He felt the sweat start up in the palms of his hands. The surgeon spoke with the fluency due to long practice and with the admirable perspicacity which distinguished him. He was tremendously interested in his profession. But Philip did not listen. He was only wishing that the fellow would get done quickly. Suddenly he realised that Jacobs was addressing him. You don t mind taking off your sock for a moment, Carey Philip felt a shudder pass through him. He had an impulse to tell the surgeon to go to hell, but he had not the courage to make a scene. He feared his brutal ridicule. He forced himself to appear indifferent. Not a bit, he said. He sat down and unlaced his boot. His fingers were trembling and he thought he should never untie the knot. He remembered how they had forced him at school to show his foot, and the misery which had eaten into his soul. He keeps his feet nice and clean, doesn t he said Jacobs.
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He strummed a little on the piano and sang comic songs with gusto and evening after evening, while Philip was reading in his solitary room, he heard the shouts and the uproarious laughter of Griffiths friends above him. He thought of those delightful evenings in Paris when they would sit in the studio, Lawson and he, Flanagan and Clutton, and talk of art and morals, the love affairs of the jersey everton present, and the fame of. the future. He felt sick at heart. He found that it was easy to make a heroic gesture, but hard to abide by its results. The worst of it was that the work seemed to him very tedious. He had got out of the habit of being asked questions by demonstrators. His attention wandered at lectures. Anatomy was a dreary science, a mere matter of learning by heart an enormous number of facts dissection bored him he did not see the use of dissecting out laboriously nerves and arteries when with much less trouble you could see in the diagrams of a book or jersey everton in the specimens of the pathological museum exactly where they were. He made friends by jersey everton chance, but not intimate friends, for he seemed to have nothing in particular to say to his companions. When he tried to interest himself in their concerns, he felt that they found him patronising. He was not of those who can talk of what moves them without caring whether it bores or not the people they talk to. One man, hearing that he had studied art in Paris, and fancying himself on his taste, tried to discuss art with him but Philip was impatient of views which did not agree with his own and, finding quickly that the other s ideas were conventional, grew monosyllabic. Philip desired popularity but could bring himself to make no advances to others. A fear of rebuff prevented him from affability, and he concealed his shyness, which was still intense, under a frigid taciturnity. He was going through the same experience as he had done at school, but here the freedom of the medical students life jersey everton made cheap junior replica football kits it possible for him to live a good deal by himself. It was through no effort of his that he became friendly with Dunsford, the fresh complexioned, heavy lad whose acquaintance he had made at the beginning of the session. Dunsford attached himself to Philip merely because he was the first person he had known at St. Luke s. He had no friends in London, and on Saturday nights he and Philip got into the habit of going together to the pit of a music hall or the gallery of a theatre. He was stupid, but.