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heedling. Don t be such an old silly. I believe you re nervous. You don t know how nice I can be. She put her face against his and rubbed his cheek with hers. To Philip her smile was an abominable leer, and the suggestive glitter of her eyes filled him with horror. He drew back instinctively. I won t, he said. But she would not let him go. She sought his mouth england fc jacket with her lips. He took her hands and tore them roughly apart and pushed her away. You disgust me, he said. Me She steadied herself with one hand on the chimney piece. She looked at him for an instant, and two red spots suddenly appeared on her cheeks. She gave a shrill, angry laugh. I disgust YOU. She paused and drew in her breath sharply. Then she burst into a furious torrent of abuse. She shouted at the top of her voice. She called him every foul name she could think of. She used language so obscene that Philip was astounded she was always so anxious to be refined, so shocked by coarseness, that it england fc jacket had never occurred to him that she knew the words she used now. She came up to him and thrust her face in his. It was distorted with passion, and in her tumultuous speech the spittle dribbled over her lips. I never cared for you, not once, I was making a fool of you always, you bored me, you bored me stiff, and I hated you, I would never have let you touch me only for the money, and it used to make me sick when I had to let you kiss me. We laughed at you, Griffiths and me, we laughed because you england fc jacket was such a mug. A mug A mug Then she burst again into abominable invective. She accused him of every mean fault she said he was stingy, she said he was dull, she said he was vain, selfish she cast virulent ridicule on everything upon which he was most sensitive. And at last she turned to go. She kept on, with hysterical violence, shouting at him an opprobrious, filthy epithet. She seized the handle of the door and flung it open. Then she turned round and hurled at him the injury which she knew was the only one that really touched him. She threw into the word all the malice and all the venom of which she was capable. She flung it at him as though it were a blow. Cripple chapter 97 Philip awoke with a start next morning, conscious that it was late, and looking at his watch found it was nine o clock. He jumped out of bed and went into the kitchen to get himself some hot water to shave with. There was no sign of Mildred, and the things which she had used for her supper the england fc jacket n.instant that there was a possibility of error. All his plans were suddenly overthrown, and the existence, so elaborately pictured, was no more than a dream which would never be realised. He was free once more. 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He realised that he had deceived himself it was no self sacrifice that had driven him to think of everton t shirts uk marrying, but the desire for a wife and a home and love and now that it all seemed to slip through his england fc jacket fingers he was seized with despair. He wanted all that more than anything in the world. What did he care for Spain and its cities, Cordova, Toledo, Leon what to him were the pagodas of Burmah and the lagoons of South Sea Islands America was here and now. It seemed to him that all his life he had followed the ideals that other people, by their words or their writings, had instilled into him, and never the desires of his own heart. Always his course had been swayed by what he thought he should do and never by what he wanted with his whole soul to do. He put all that aside now with a gesture of impatience. He had lived always in the future, and the present always, always had slipped through his fingers. His ideals He thought of his desire to make a design, intricate and beautiful, out of the myriad, meaningless facts of life had he not seen also that the simplest pattern, that in which a man was born, worked, married, had children, and died, was likewise the most perfect It might be that to surrender to happiness was to england fc jacket accept defeat, but it was a defeat better than many victories. He glanced quickly at Sally, he wondered what she was thinking, and then lo.th one another again he remembered their first meeting and the pleasant months they had spent together in Heidelberg. Philip s heart sank as he thought of the lost years. He walked on mechanically, not noticing where he went, and realised suddenly, with a movement of irritation, that instead of turning down the Haymarket he had sauntered along Shaftesbury Avenue. It bored him to retrace his steps and besides, with that news, he did not want to read, he wanted to sit alone and think. He made up his mind to go to the British Museum. Solitude was now his only luxury. Since he had been at Lynn s he had often gone there and sat in front of the groups from the Parthenon and, not deliberately thinking, had allowed their divine masses to rest his troubled soul. But this afternoon they had nothing to say to him, and after a f. ew minutes, impatiently, he wandered out of the room. There were too juve 2019 kit many people, provincials kit bvb with foolish faces, foreigners poring over guide books their hideousness besmirched the everlasting psg boys kit masterpieces, their restlessness troubled the god s immortal repose. He went into another room and here there was hardly england fc jacket anyone. Philip sat down wearily. His nerves were on edge. He could not get the people out of his mind. Sometimes at Lynn s they affected him in the same way, and he looked at them file past him with horror they were so ugly and there was such meanness in their faces, it was terrifying their features were distorted with paltry desires, and you felt they were strange to any ideas of beauty. They had furtive eyes and weak chins. There was no wickedness in them, but only pettiness and vulgarity. Their humour was a low facetiousness. Sometimes he found himself looking at them to see what animal they resembled he tried not to, for it quickly became an obsession, and he saw in them all the sheep or the horse or the fox or the goat. Human beings filled him with disgust. But presently the influence of the place descended upon him. He felt quieter. He began to look absently at the tombstones with which the room was lined. They were the work of Athenian stone masons of the fourth and fifth centuries before Christ, and they were very simple, work of no great talent but with the exquisite spirit of Athens upon them time had mellowed the marble to the colour of honey, so that unconsciously one thought of the bees of Hymettus, and softened their outlines. Some represented a nude figure, seated on a bench, some the departure of the dead.
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